Resources for Young People
It's Not You're Fault
Don't let the bullshitters get you down. Remember always it's not you're fault.
What is Sexual Assault?
Sexual Assault includes any action in which someone is forced, tricked or threatened into sexual acts. Sexual assault is a crime and is never justified. It is never the fault of the victim.
What is Child Sexual Assault?
Child Sexual Assault is the coercion of dependent children or adolescents into sexual activities with an adult or person older or bigger. A child is unable to give consent due to the unequal power in the relationship.
Child Sexual Assault includes touching a child sexually, masterbating infront of a child, penetrating a child vaginally, anally or orally, with penis, fingers, tongue or an object. It also includes exposing a child to pornography or adult sexual behaviour, involving the child in sexual behaviour with other children- any sexual behaviour with or around a child is sexual abuse.
Telling Someone
Maybe you're thinking "I already tried to tell". Perhaps you said:
- you don't like going to your Uncle's; or
- that you're step dad touches you.
Some grown ups don't know about kids being hurt in a sexual way. So when you have said you're step dad touches you , you're mum [or who ever you told] might not know what this means. So you might be thinking "what do i need to tell?"
Perhaps this fact sheet might help you, Telling Someone
Feelings
Often people find it difficult to name or put words to feelings they have. People [children and adults] who have been hurt can find naming feelings even more difficult. If you hold the mouse [hover] over one of these images, it may help you to name a feeling you are having or have had.
Feelings can also be in different parts of your body, and you can experience them in different ways. For example, a feeling in your tummy might be a 'sick' feeling; or feelings in your legs might be a 'heavy' feeling. Listen to your feelings: How does your stomach feel? Where does your head ache? What is your breathing doing [fast, light, slow]?
TRICKS PERPETRATOR’s USE
Sexual assault is an abuse of power and an act of control that is generally forced on women and children by men they know. However, anyone with power over another person can use this to hurt and control them and in a small number of cases, might also include women abusing children. Some perpetrators think they have the right to treat others in this way, or use a range of excuses to justify their behavior. Some think that those they assault (like their partners and children), belong to them so they have a right to abuse them. Others think that what they want is all that matters. While most perpetrators are men, most men are not perpetrators. Unfortunately, there are a small group of men who use violence to hurt, humiliate and gain power and control. Read more about TRICKS PERPETRATOR’s USE...
INTERNET GROOMING
Sexual grooming [particularly of children] also occurs on the Internet. Some perpetrators will pretend to be children online and make arrangements to meet with them in person. With the number of children using social connection sites such as Facebook & MSN, it is a problem that parents and workers need to be aware of. Read more about INTERNET GROOMING...
Rules for Online Safety
It's important not to give out personal information such as your address, telephone number, parents’ work address/telephone number, or the name and location of your school without getting your parents’ permission.
To read more about internet safety visit Kids HelplineBLAME & SHAME
Child Sexual Assault is never the fault of the child.
Children learn about who they are in the context of their families, but with Child
Sexual Assault the images are a bit blurred. Shame and blame can exist not only in what happened, but in the secrecy surrounding what happened. Sometimes it is easier to blame yourself and think you are bad than it is to admit you were a helpless little child- a person who had no control. Feelings of blame and shame can be magnified depending on how those around you judge or support you. Read more about BLAME...
FLASHBACKS
A flashback is a memory that often comes as a sudden and unexpected intrusion. A flashback can feel as real as when the event originally happened and can be just as frightening. Not all flashbacks are visual and sometimes they can be like an ‘instant replay’ of an event, sometimes like a snapshot or recurring image. Flashbacks can also include sounds, smells, words or a phrase. They usually go together with intense feelings and can be triggered by the time, year, season, smells, a film, a song, words, an event, a movie, pictures, tastes, touch or a sound. Sometimes sex can trigger flashbacks. Read more about FLASHBACKS...
NIGHTMARES
Many survivors relive the abuse in dreams and may also experience dreams which relate to abuse and violence. Nightmares can be terrifying and some survivors become afraid to sleep because of the dreams. When we dream of terror, we relive the bodily sensations of the event and sometimes wake up the next day completely drained. Read more about NIGHTMARES...
SELF-HARM
Many survivors hurt themselves in many different ways. This can include cutting, burning and injuring their bodies deliberately (on purpose) and also ‘accidentally’ hurting themselves. Some people also include addiction, eating disorders, ‘consensual’ violent or abusive sex and more ‘acceptable’ behaviours like workaholism or obsessively exercising (past the point of injury) in the category of self-harming behaviours. Some women deliberately harm their breasts or genitals; others harm other parts of their body. Read more about SELF-HARM...
The Myths (False Beliefs) and Facts about Sexual Violence
The Book of Lies and Bulls**t
Sexual Assault is surrounded by many beliefs, and most of these beliefs are false or myths.
For example, that Sexual assault is an uncontrolled act of lust- this is not true.
The truth from research is that most offenders plan their attacks.
There is also a belief that how women dress and behave contributes to their sexual assault. The truth from research is that sexual assault is not caused by the look or behaviour of the victim. Read more about the MYTHS & FACTS...
COUNSELLING
Counselling is many things:
- it can be a means of helping you experience your feelings without them taking over
- the process can help you learn more about healthy coping skills
- it can help you look at dysfunction in your life and perhaps relate it to aspects of CSA
- it is common to sometimes feel worse, and want to stop counselling though it needs to be remembered “a leaking tap keeps dripping until it is fixed properly”
Read more about COUNSELLING...
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